Solo parenting, which used to be taboo in society, now has a slowly decreasing stigma surrounding it. Parents who have embraced raising their children by responsibly taking on both the roles of a father and a mother are now being recognized and respected in today’s more inclusive modern society.
In a 2022 Household Assessment conducted by the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) through the Pantawid Pamilya Program’s National Household Targeting System, or Listahanan, 64.3%, or 364,494 families, were reported to have been headed by solo parents out of 15.5 million households assessed.
Among these is Marilyn Calubay de Paz, who happens to be a Pantawid Pamilya Pilipino Program (4Ps) beneficiary and who has suffered a tragic married life to a farmer husband. She has been separated from him in 2016 since he prioritized his vices over their family and neglected his responsibilities as a husband and a father to their children. There were even instances where, after a long, tiring day from work, she still did the household chores without her husband’s help.
The separation didn’t make such a difference financially, as she was the sole provider for their family’s needs through her scarcely sufficient income from nipa-making, as laundrywoman and on-call housemaid part-time jobs. They also used to live in a house built on a lot they did not own.
The house where Marilyn and her children used to live as informal settlers. (Photo courtesy of Marilyn de Paz)
However, Marilyn remained unfaltered through these challenges. Instead, she continued juggling multiple jobs and volunteered at different international non-government organizations like World Vision, which allowed her to provide for the basic needs of her children and send them to school.
As a 4Ps beneficiary, she also made sure that even the small financial assistance from the DSWD program would be spent wisely.
“Parang extra ko lang yung 4Ps na grant kasi hindi ko kinahihiligang umutang sa mga naglalako ng isda, kahit sa tindahan hindi po ako umuutang kasi pagdating ng 4Ps wala nang matitira sa akin. [The financial assistance we receive from 4Ps grant only serves as extra money because I am not fond of lending from fish vendors, even on neighborhood sundry stores, as there won’t be any money left if it is only used to pay the debts],” Marilyn said in an interview.
“Yung ginagawa ko nalang kapag may nagsasabing, ‘Punta ka dito. Maglinis ka ng bahay’. Gina-grab ko yun kahit, may pupuntahan akong importante kasi yung pinipili ko yung makaka-earn ako ng money. [Instead, when someone needs my services such as cleaning their house, I will immediately grab the opportunity. Even if I have other important matters to attend to, I will still choose to take the job just so I can earn money],” she added.
The mother of four, who may not have finished her formal education, which gave her limited job opportunities, seemed quite literate at handling financial matters, even as a small-income earner.
“Hindi po dapat kung ano ang gusto nila, bibilhin nila. Kung ano lang yung need talaga sa bahay. Kasi ako hindi ako bumibili ng kung anu-ano, [My fellow 4Ps beneficiaries should not just buy anything they want. They should only buy things that are necessary, because I am not that person who impulsively purchases items without careful consideration or planning],” she shared.
The love of a parent for a child is truly unparalleled, especially when this love comes from a loving mother whose life has been solely dedicated to raising her children well from the day they first bonded on the womb and until the day their hair turns gray. Such a selfless, unconditional, and heroic act of love can warm a child’s heart.
Her sacrifices did not remain unnoticed, as this has inspired her four children: Windelhyn May de Paz, the eldest; Kristine Apple de Paz, the second child; Kyla Grace de Paz, the third child; and Kris Edwin de Paz, the youngest and only son, to do great in their studies, which has even helped her earn money through their summer jobs, such as sweeping their neighbor’s front yard or working as an encoder on weekends.
The de Paz family stands in front of the house they currently reside in. (Photo courtesy of Marilyn de Paz)
The three daughters were 4Ps’ monitored children, which has somehow helped lessen the cost of their expenses. Two of them have already finished their bachelors’ degrees. Windelhyn is already working at DSWD as Social Welfare Officer I and is currently studying for a Master’s Degree, while Kristine has graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Education major in MAPEH as a Magna Cum Laude and passed the Licensure Examination for Teachers with the first take.
Meanwhile, Kyla, who’s now in her eleventh grade, was a salutatorian in her 10th grade and finished elementary school as a valedictorian. She iss also the Supreme Secondary Learner Government President of her school. Kris, on the other hand, is in his ninth grade. He’s currently a band member and serves as a sacristan at the parish of Mayorga.
“Mapalad po ako sa mga anak ko na hindi tulad ba ng iba na kapag may 4P’s, hihingi sila. Sila, hindi. Basta yung kailangan lang nila para sa school nila, pagkain. Kung ano lang ang mayroon, okay na sa kanila. [I am blessed with my children who are considerate of our situation. Unlike other children who would take advantage and make demands for their wants every time cash grants were released. My children have never asked for more than what’s needed.]”
Marilyn is now serving her community as a baranggay kagawad after she left her job training as a merchandiser developer in Bohol and chose to be in service of her beloved community in Mayorga, Leyte, where her family’s history has served as a true inspiration to them.
Despite not being a traditionally complete family, Marilyn and her children showed that they are survivors and winners instead of falling into the trap of a victim mentality because of a series of unfortunate circumstances that were not of their own choosing and beyond their control.
The de Paz family, which has maintained strong family ties and demonstrated positive Filipino values, is looked up to as a role model in the community. DSWD hailed them as one of the winners of the 2023 Huwarang Pantawid Pamilya nationwide. (LDL/VCCL/PIA Leyte)
Marilyn is holding the plaque of recognition as the 2023 Huwarang Pantawid Pamilya regional and national winner with her daughter, Kyla. (Photo: PIA Leyte)
